Eleanor & Park Read online

  And then she realized that Park didn’t know about the Beatles.

  Park

  Park went to the playground to play basketball after school. Just to kill time. But he couldn’t focus on the game – he kept looking up at the back of Eleanor’s house.

  When he got home, he called out to his mom. ‘Mom! I’m home!’

  ‘Park,’ she called. ‘Out here! In the garage.’

  He grabbed a cherry Popsicle out of the freezer and headed out there. He could smell the permanent-wave solution as soon as he opened the door.

  Park’s dad had converted their garage into a salon when Josh started kindergarten and their mom went to beauty school. She even had a little sign hanging by the side door. ‘Mindy’s Hair & Nails.’

  ‘Min-Dae,’ it said on her driver’s license.

  Everyone in the neighborhood who could afford a hair stylist came to Park’s mom. On homecoming and prom weekends, she’d spend all day in the garage. Both Park and Josh were recruited from time to time to hold hot curling irons.

  Today, his mom had Tina sitting in her chair. Tina’s hair was wound tight in rollers, and Park’s mom was squeezing something onto them with a plastic bottle. The smell burned his eyes.

  ‘Hey, Mom,’ he said. ‘Hey, Tina.’

  ‘Hey, honey,’ his mom said. She pronounced it with two ‘n’s.

  Tina smiled broadly at him. ‘Close eyes, Ti-na,’ his mom said. ‘Stay close.’

  ‘Hey, Mrs Sheridan,’ Tina said, holding a white washcloth over her eyes, ‘have you met Park’s girlfriend yet?’

  His mom didn’t look up from Tina’s head. ‘Nooo,’ she said, clucking her tongue. ‘No girlfriend. Not Park.’

  ‘Uh-huh,’ Tina said. ‘Tell her, Park – her name is Eleanor, and she’s new this year. We can’t keep them apart on the bus.’

  Park stared at Tina. Shocked that she’d sell him out like this. Startled by her rosy take on bus life. Surprised that she was even paying attention to him, and to Eleanor. His mom looked over at Park, but not for long; Tina’s hair was at a critical stage.

  ‘I don’t know about any girlfriend,’ his mom said.

  ‘I’ll bet you’ve seen her in the neighborhood,’ Tina said, assuring. ‘She has really pretty, red hair. Naturally curly.’

  ‘Is that right?’ his mom said.

  ‘No,’ Park said, anger and everything else curdling in his stomach.

  ‘You’re such a guy, Park,’ Tina said from behind the washcloth. ‘I’m sure it’s natural.’

  ‘No,’ he said, ‘she’s not my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend,’ he said to his mom.

  ‘Okay, okay,’ she said. ‘Too much girl talk for you. Too much girl talk, Ti-na. You go check on dinner now,’ she said to Park.

  He backed out of the garage, still wanting to argue, feeling more denial twitching in his throat. He slammed the door, then went into the kitchen and slammed as much as he could in there. The oven. The cabinets. The trash.

  ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ his dad said, walking into the kitchen.

  Park froze. He could not get into trouble tonight.

  ‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘Sorry. I’m sorry.’

  ‘Jesus, Park, take it out on the bag …’ There was an old-school punching bag in the garage, hanging way out of Park’s reach.

  ‘Mindy!’ his dad shouted.

  ‘Out here!’

  Eleanor didn’t call during dinner, which was good. That got on his dad’s nerves.

  But she didn’t call after dinner either. Park walked around the house, picking things up randomly, then setting them down. Even though it didn’t make sense, he worried that Eleanor wasn’t calling because he’d betrayed her. That she knew somehow, that she’d sensed a disturbance in the Force.

  The phone rang at 7:15, and his mom answered it. He could tell right away that it was his grandma.

  Park tapped his fingers on a bookshelf. Why didn’t his parents want call waiting? Everyone had call waiting. His grandparents had call waiting. And why couldn’t his grandma just come over, if she wanted to talk? They lived right next door.

  ‘No, I don’t think so,’ his mother said. ‘Sixty Minutes always on Sunday … Maybe you think of Twenty-Twenty? No? … John Stos-sel? No? … Geraldo Rivera? Di-anne Sawyer?’

  Park gently banged his head against the living room wall.

  ‘God damn it, Park,’ his dad snapped, ‘what is wrong with you?’

  His dad and Josh were trying to watch The A-Team.

  ‘Nothing,’ Park said, ‘nothing. I’m sorry. I’m just waiting for a phone call.’

  ‘Is your girlfriend calling?’ Josh asked. ‘Park’s dating Big Red.’

  ‘She’s not—’ Park caught himself shouting and clenched his fists. ‘If I ever hear you call her that again, I’ll kill you. I’ll literally kill you. I’ll go to jail for the rest of my life, and it’ll break Mom’s heart, but I will. Kill. You.’

  His dad looked at Park like he always did, like he was trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with him.

  ‘Park has a girlfriend?’ he asked Josh. ‘Why do they call her Big Red?’

  ‘I think it’s because she has red hair and giant tits,’ Josh said.

  ‘No way, dirty mouth,’ their mother said. She held her hand over the phone. ‘You’ – she pointed at Josh – ‘in your room. Now.’

  ‘But, Mom, The A-Team is on.’

  ‘You heard your mother,’ their dad said. ‘You don’t get to talk like that in this house.’

  ‘You talk like that,’ Josh said, dragging himself off the couch.

  ‘I’m thirty-nine years old,’ their dad said, ‘and a decorated veteran. I’ll say whatever the hell I want.’

  Their mother jabbed a long fingernail at his dad and covered the phone again. ‘I’ll send you to your room, too.’

  ‘Honey, I wish you would,’ their dad said, throwing a throw pillow at her.

  ‘Hugh Downs?’ Park’s mom said into the phone. The pillow fell on the floor and she picked it up. ‘No? … Okay, I’ll keep thinking. Okay. Love you. Okay, bye-bye.’

  As soon as she hung up, the phone rang. Park sprung away from the wall. His dad grinned at him. His mom answered the phone.

  ‘Hello?’ she said. ‘Yes, one moment please.’ She looked at Park. ‘Telephone.’

  ‘Can I take it in my room?’

  His mom nodded. His dad mouthed, ‘Big Red.’

  Park ran into his room, then stopped to catch his breath before he picked up the phone. He couldn’t. He picked it up anyway.

  ‘I got it, Mom, thanks.’

  He waited for the click. ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hi,’ Eleanor said. He felt all of the tension rush out of him. Without it, he could hardly stand up.

  ‘Hi,’ he breathed.

  She giggled.

  ‘What?’ he said.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘Hi.’

  ‘I didn’t think you were going to call.’

  ‘It’s not even 7:30.’

  ‘Yeah, well … is your brother asleep?’

  ‘He’s not my brother,’ she said. ‘I mean, not yet. I guess my dad’s engaged to his mom. But, no, he’s not asleep. He’s watching Fraggle Rock.’

  Park carefully picked up the phone and carried it to his bed. He sat down gently. He didn’t want her to hear anything. He didn’t want her to know he had a twin-sized waterbed and a phone shaped like a Ferrari.

  ‘What time is your dad coming home?’ he asked.

  ‘Late, I hope. They said they almost never get a babysitter.’

  ‘Cool.’

  She giggled again.

  ‘What?’ he asked.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said, ‘I feel like you’re whispering in my ear.’

  ‘I’m always whispering in your ear,’ he said, lying back on his pillows.

  ‘Yeah, but it’s usually about, like, Magneto or something.’ Her voice was higher on the phone, and richer, like he was listening to
it on headphones.

  ‘I’m not going to say anything tonight that I could say on the bus or during English class,’ he said.

  ‘And I’m not going to say anything that I can’t say in front of a three-year-old.’

  ‘Nice.’

  ‘I’m just kidding. He’s in the other room, and he’s totally ignoring me.’

  ‘So …’ Park said.

  ‘So …’ she said, ‘… things we can’t say on the bus.’

  ‘Things we can’t say on the bus – go.’

  ‘I hate those people,’ she said.

  He laughed, then thought of Tina and was glad that Eleanor couldn’t see his face. ‘Me, too, sometimes. I mean, I guess I’m used to them. I’ve known most of them my whole life. Steve’s my next-door neighbor.’

  ‘How did that happen?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ he asked.

  ‘I mean, you don’t seem like you’re from there …’

  ‘Because I’m Korean?’

  ‘You’re Korean?’

  ‘Half.’

  ‘I guess I don’t really know what that means.’

  ‘Me neither,’ he said.

  ‘What do you mean? Are you adopted?’

  ‘No. My mom’s from Korea. She just doesn’t talk about it very much.’

  ‘How did she end up in the Flats?’

  ‘My dad. He served in Korea, they fell in love, and he brought her back.’

  ‘Wow, really?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘That’s pretty romantic.’

  Eleanor didn’t know the half of it; his parents were probably making out right now. ‘I guess so,’ he said.

  ‘That’s not what I meant though. I meant … that you’re different from the other people in the neighborhood, you know?’

  Of course he knew. They’d all been telling him so his whole life. When Tina liked Park instead of Steve in grade school, Steve had said, ‘I think she feels safe with you because you’re like half girl.’ Park hated football. He cried when his dad took him pheasant hunting. Nobody in the neighborhood could ever tell who he was dressed as on Halloween. (‘I’m Doctor Who.’ ‘I’m Harpo Marx.’ ‘I’m Count Floyd.’) And he kind of wanted his mom to give him blond highlights. Park knew he was different.

  ‘No,’ he said. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘You …’ she said, ‘you’re so … cool.’

  Eleanor

  ‘Cool?’ he said.

  God. She couldn’t believe she’d said that. Talk about uncool. Like the opposite of cool. Like, if you looked up ‘cool’ in the dictionary, there’d be a photo of some cool person there saying, ‘What the eff is wrong with you, Eleanor?’

  ‘I’m not cool,’ he said. ‘You’re cool.’

  ‘Ha,’ she said. ‘I wish I were drinking milk, and I wish you were here, so that you could watch it shoot out my nose in response to that.’

  ‘Are you kidding me?’ he said. ‘You’re Dirty Harry.’

  ‘I’m dirty hairy?’

  ‘Like Clint Eastwood, you know?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘You don’t care what anyone thinks about you,’ he said.

  ‘That’s crazy,’ she said. ‘I care what everyone thinks about me.’

  ‘I can’t tell,’ he said. ‘You just seem like yourself, no matter what’s happening around you. My grandmother would say you’re comfortable in your own skin.’

  ‘Why would she say that?’

  ‘Because that’s how she talks.’

  ‘I’m stuck in my own skin,’ Eleanor said. ‘And why are we even talking about me? We were talking about you.’

  ‘I’d rather talk about you,’ he said. His voice dropped a little. It was nice to hear just his voice and nothing else. (Nothing besides Fraggle Rock in the next room.) His voice was deeper than she’d ever realized, but sort of warm in the middle. He kind of reminded her of Peter Gabriel. Not singing, obviously. And not with a British accent.

  ‘Where did you come from?’ he asked.

  ‘The future.’

  Park

  Eleanor had an answer for everything – but she still managed to evade most of Park’s questions.

  She wouldn’t talk about her family or her house. She wouldn’t talk about anything that happened before she moved to the neighborhood or anything that happened after she got off the bus.

  When her sort-of stepbrother fell asleep around nine, she asked Park to call her back in fifteen minutes, so she could put the kid to bed.

  Park hurried to the bathroom and hoped that he wouldn’t run into either of his parents. So far they were leaving him alone.

  He got back to his room. He checked the clock … eight more minutes. He put a tape in his stereo. He changed into pajama pants and a T-shirt.

  He called her back.

  ‘It so hasn’t been fifteen minutes,’ she said.

  ‘I couldn’t wait. Do you want me to call you back?’

  ‘No.’ Her voice was even softer now.

  ‘Did he stay asleep?’

  ‘Yeah,’ she said.

  ‘Where are you now?’

  ‘Like, where in the house?’

  ‘Yeah, where.’

  ‘Why?’ she asked, with something just gentler than disdain.

  ‘Because I’m thinking about you,’ he said, exasperated.

  ‘So?’

  ‘Because I want to feel like I’m with you,’ he said. ‘Why do you make everything so hard?’

  ‘Probably because I’m so cool …’ she said.

  ‘Ha.’

  ‘I’m lying on the floor in the living room,’ she said faintly. ‘In front of the stereo.’

  ‘In the dark? It sounds dark.’

  ‘In the dark, yeah.’

  He lay back on his bed again and covered his eyes with his arm. He could see her. In his head. He imagined green lights on a stereo. Street lights through a window. He imagined her face glowing, the coolest light in the room.

  ‘Is that U2?’ he asked. He could hear ‘Bad’ in the background.

  ‘Yeah, I think it’s my favorite song right now. I keep rewinding it, and playing it over and over again. It’s nice not to have to worry about batteries.’

  ‘What’s your favorite part?’

  ‘Of the song?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘All of it,’ she said, ‘especially the chorus – I mean, I guess it’s the chorus.’

  ‘I’m wide awake,’ he half sang.

  ‘Yeah …’ she said, softly.

  He kept singing then. Because he wasn’t sure what to say next.

  Eleanor

  ‘Eleanor?’ Park said.

  She didn’t answer.

  ‘Are you there?’

  She was so out of it, she actually nodded her head. ‘Yes,’ she said out loud, catching herself.

  ‘What are you thinking?’

  ‘I’m thinking – I’m – I’m not thinking.’

  ‘Not thinking in a good way? Or a bad way?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she said. She rolled over onto her stomach, and pressed her face into the carpet. ‘Both.’

  He was quiet. She listened to him breathe. She wanted to ask him to hold the phone closer to his mouth.

  ‘I miss you,’ she said.

  ‘I’m right here.’

  ‘I wish you were here. Or that I was there. I wish that there was some chance of talking like this after tonight, or seeing each other. Like, really seeing each other. Of being alone, together.’

  ‘Why can’t there be?’ he asked.

  She laughed. That’s when she realized she was crying.

  ‘Eleanor …’

  ‘Stop. Don’t say my name like that. It only makes it worse.’

  ‘Makes what worse?’

  ‘Everything,’ she said.

  He was quiet.

  She sat up and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

  ‘Do you have a nickname?’ he asked. That was one of his tricks, whenever she was put off or irritated – changing
the subject in the sweetest way possible.

  ‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘Eleanor.’

  ‘Not Nora? Or Ella? Or … Lena, you could be Lena. Or Lenny or Elle …’

  ‘Are you trying to give me a nickname?’

  ‘No, I love your name. I don’t want to cheat myself out of a single syllable.’

  ‘You’re such a dork.’ She wiped her eyes.

  ‘Eleanor …’ he said, ‘why can’t we see each other?’

  ‘God,’ she said, ‘don’t. I’d almost stopped crying.’

  ‘Tell me. Talk to me.’

  ‘Because,’ she said, ‘because my stepdad would kill me.’

  ‘Why does he care?’

  ‘He doesn’t care. He just wants to kill me.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Stop asking that,’ she said angrily. There was no stopping the tears now. ‘You always ask that. Why. Like there’s an answer for everything. Not everybody has your life, you know, or your family. In your life, things happen for reasons. People make sense. But that’s not my life. Nobody in my life makes sense …’

  ‘Not even me?’ he asked.

  ‘Ha. Especially not you.’

  ‘Why would you say that?’ He sounded hurt. What did he have to be hurt about?

  ‘Why, why, why …’ she said.

  ‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘why. Why are you always so mad at me?’

  ‘I’m never mad at you.’ It came out a sob. He was so stupid.

  ‘You are,’ he said. ‘You’re mad at me right now. You always turn on me, just when we start to get somewhere.’

  ‘Get where?’

  ‘Somewhere,’ he said. ‘With each other. Like, a few minutes ago, you said you missed me. And for maybe the first time ever, you didn’t sound sarcastic or defensive or like you think I’m an idiot. And now you’re yelling at me.’

  ‘I’m not yelling.’

  ‘You’re mad,’ he said. ‘Why are you mad?’

  She didn’t want him to hear her cry. She held her breath. That made it worse.

  ‘Eleanor …’ he said.

  Even worse.

  ‘Stop saying that.’

  ‘What can I say then? You can ask me why, you know. I promise I’ll have answers.’

  He sounded frustrated with her, but not angry. She could remember him sounding angry with her only once. The first day she got on the bus.

  ‘You can ask me why,’ he said again.